I knew I loved you ..

I knew I loved you before I met you ... I have been waiting all my life.
And that is how the savage garden song goes on. And that is not really like how every love story starts usually. But, mine did.

I'd say it was a very dramatic beginning(and funny too :P) considering he already had a girlfriend and I was having a small fling with a friend. But then, it was to happen, he knew too well that I couldn't resist him ;) and that he just could NOT resist me. I had been in the same room with him before, had irritated him already and had already given him enough of the real me. But this was different, this was spontaneous and this gave me the feeling that I was touching something deliciously forbidden. And then it happened, something I did not think I would let my self do, but I did, but it happened and all that in a spur of a moment, and it did not end there ... It took me somewhere I never been to before, but always had been thinking of, silently, dreamily, happily ... And so, my dream did not remain a dream anymore.

And it did not even end there, like the way the first few chords are strung from a violin to give a few excerpts just before the song begins. And so, we made more love to feel that, it had just only begun ... The first scenery of our new world had just been painted ... And that was when I felt what it is to be, when you are in Love ... Truly, madly and irresistibly in Love. I couldn't but fall into it, like a mermaid dives into the deepest waters of the ocean !
 

despair

A lot has been said about the disparities of life.. but to write about them is certainly not easy.. that is what I learnt today.. I never felt this way before and it wasn't a cheerful thing, now I understand the cynicisms behind fiery and unceremoniously disheartened lines written by the great authors, playwrights and people of poetic bliss. To come down to how I felt about writing about this is a rather strange phenomenon, happy hearts do not know what it is to be without it.

Sometimes a fast life is good... Sometimes we need it and sometimes its inevitably so. Considering how fast the last four years of my life passed! The more I think about it, the more psyched I get. The last time I checked this blog was way back in Oct'10 that was the peak of my merrier times, aspirations high on my mind, endless getaways, too many hangouts and yes, soo much love! love in all forms, in all sizes, and in the most incredible ways, those were the best days... if I had to comment on them. Now that happy times have passed, I think I should talk about the present.
Neither does life seem content, nor is it in the worst possible state, but it isn't peaceful and content, and it hammers me each time I close my eyes. When I close my eyes, I see the dark, the darkest clouds of insecurity which hide themselves when the world seems all at my feet.. But now, this cloud grows darker, without any silver lining, without any boundaries of hope... despair has cast its shadow on these innocent eyes. Weren't so many days already spent in struggling to find my own identity? Wasn't the stress pounded off to make it through hard days? Wasn't I supposed to get a new lease of life by now? Why do I have to feel like this.. hasn't it been enough already?? Or was it never over... was it just revamping itself to grow into this unimaginable ogre of discontent? I just wish, life came up with the answers to these fast... because it really isn't getting the better out of me, it would only make things worse!
All that I know now is that, the times I've spent with my peers shall grow smaller in my life henceforth, the steaming cups of coffee will vanish into empty castles in the air and nothing that was good before will get better now... this is not to say that all hope is lost and every shadow of bliss has faded but it hasn’t gone because tomorrow awaits me, and brings with it oodles of inevitable hope. There’s a very thick line between a possibility and a miracle. But pondering on this is of much worth in the while.

hii..m back aftr almost a yr..

hey..i jus thot i shud update this..so here i am.. :) well this one ..I hope shudnt make any melancholic resemblances to the prev one..well I jus remembered of all those things tht hav really changed in my life..and changed my life wholly..only me still yet almost the same..considering my perspective towards all tht.The old men..still say Life is (quite) a jigsaw puzzle! And its not a simple one..only the most adaptive survive..that is the rule of Life!Now, for instance if I consider my 20-21ish living..waking up at 5 in the morn,to see the most beautiful part of the day,which one might consider a really strange thing to do,has become quite a passion for me cuz i wake up everyday to heive a sigh of peace tht yesterday is over and today is gonna bring me good.(An honest plead at times..)The morning usually fills me up with positive energies to take me through the day ..At 20,the perfect life tht u wish for..has primarily 4 things-a comfortable living,few very good freinds,a steady boyfriend and ambition !Life is but too empty without any one of them...my life is quite a comfy one but quite a fluctuating compromise too.I hate afternoons cuz they r the laziest and most deliberately tiring times .. u got classes .. u sleep thru them,u got work..u leav it for tomorw.. u r lazed out,fatigued for doing nuthing..u're restless but drowsy..lethargic..n so on..Complaining still,it is evening..most wonderful..part of the day..evening means memories,nostalgia..repentance n a lotta gratefulness for me..If i had to chose time only for myself..the evening is the one for me..every evening..glances roll past my mind..words ring along,(this moment too takes me away to tht special day wen I fell for tht sweet twinkled eye,pink cheeks,oh how rosy a spectacle tht was)..n more happening times..and yet i find a meaning in being complete still sitting alone thinking bout those special times..I don wanna get into all tht now..But hey y do i forget..bout wat i particularly was thinkin bout..changes and their necessities..and significance!Yes,nt evrythin is th same..the first being my perspective..wich changed(over a long tym) aftr i realised hw much i was losin a control over things..n wud hav fallen into some terrible mess for shure,..yes i've learnt quite a few things th hard way..nevr thot so much b4 doin something .. nevr tried to read other ppl's minds over situations..nevr realised expectations..nevr made efforts to understand..nevr thot i would lose a control over things tht badly,nevr understood th effect of my emotions over judgements.. nevr thot so much man! falling into th most vicious circumstances at the 11th hr..put my screws back to place..realised th value of time,patience,reason.. but nevr lost hope,nevr gave up optimism,nevr stopped in my way..and the path still drives me thru.. waving forgiveness over me.. Yes! Life still goes on..

first things First..

1. i get annoyed too fast so stop pj'in on me.


2. i like sweetstuff too too way too much,if u dont i care not!but i respest everyone's choices,so i expect the same frm u too.


3. i'm too lazy,so dont ask me ever to do somethng for u.if i do somethin for my good,thats more than expected.


4. i'm too dietconscious..i love eatin though!


5. i love rock music,specially avril..she rocks!


6. i aint a book-freak(though i did like a few that i managed to complete).


7. i could be rude,cold and bitchy at times,if u're hurt..dont expect me to apologise please(get a life!)


8. i contradict myself pretty much regardin certain issues..but i know wats right and wats not.


9. i am non political..and extremely liberalistic..i believe in "live and let live"and follow it too.


10. i love 3 people-god,my parents,myself(who's name were u searchin for?huh!)


11. i am too obssessed about myself,very self centred and i live in my own (inanimate)world.


12. i'm extremely optimistic..(well ignorance is bliss!)


13. i am pretty talkative and very inquisitive.


14. i have a egoistic heart.